I hit a deer too last august. I can still see those eyes looking at me before I hit. I would have changed places with him at that moment. I understand your guilt.
It was my third time that I hit a deer. There is a lot of deers where I live and they cross the road a lot. Hubby was mad at me because I had damaged the car another time. Sometime there is things in life that we do not understand.

Take good care!
forgoten