Foomph,
I'm struggling with this issue too. Especially the feeling "dirty and nasty and sick and twisted and gross" if some part of me does actually become aroused. Several months ago I attempted to express this to my T, hoping that as Rap mentioned I could get some help dealing with it. It was a very awkward thing to attempt to present. I think my T actually got what I was saying, didn't judge it, but unfortunately wasn't very helpful. At this point I haven't ventured back to this issue and I am reluctant to raise it again.