My Dear Paddy
First, have you talked to him about these things that are on your heart?A loving relationships means that you both can share the intimate things as well as the companionship things.

There is much more to "love" than sex. Intimacy is more than a physical act--believe me I know. I often wondered about my H and if he should just find someone who isn't as "messed up" as I am, who can give him what he needs sexually-----and when we talked he nearly cried and said that he loves ME----all parts of me---and the physical had nothing to do with it.

Love and intimacy go so much deeper.
I would advise you both to talk and really explore your relationship.
Look into couples counceling.
A good relationship is worth working on, fighting for and learning how to nurture and rekindle.
Just my thoughts