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Jul 07, 2009, 04:21 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,611
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He so clearly knows he has you by his hooks, he knows he controls your mind - he rents space in your head for free. He's a master manipulator. He just wants to know he has control over your mind and emotions. He doesn't want YOU, he wants CONTROL over you. When he has that, has no interest in you.
You need to take your power, your control over yourself back Marjan. I had an emotionally abusive therapist. When I realized what was happening, I decided to end the therapy and told him so. He begged me to come back one more time. He insinuated it was for my own "theraputic" good. When I came for my next appointment, he told me HE was ending the therapy!  He was very sick, but so was I. My neediness, my loneliness, my vulnerability left me open to be taken advantage of by someone like him. You sound like you are in the same boat.
One way or another you must take control over the situation - over YOURSELF and YOUR ACTIONS. The more you do this, the worse he will act. When he finally realizes you are no longer available to be used and abused, he will lose interest and leave you alone. You can do this in a couple different ways, only YOU can decide what you need to do and how to cope with it.
But you must get very honest with yourself, know yourself and what you can deal with, what you can't. You must know how to protect yourself. Then decide what you need to do to take care of yourself and just do it. It sounds simple, but it's very, very hard to live it, day in and day out. There is no easy way here. You must go through this, and learn from it. Then move on. 
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