This has really bothered me today.
I have worked with children for years, I love doing it and have often thought I would like to become a teacher or something like that. Every summer I help with a children's summer theatre, directing and teaching theatre for kids. This summer one girls mother told me that earlier that year her daughter (who is now 12 and has been participating in the theatre for several years) was asked to write an essay in school about her role model. She chose to write about me. I am a horrible role model! I am in recovery for Anorexia, I self injure, I hurt people and make constant bad decisions. No child should ever want to be like me. Of course this little girl doesn't know any of this but I feel like a failure. I feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to work with children because somehow I might poison them and make them act like me. I just feel like I'm letting them all down. I don't know. My mum says this shouldn't bother me because the fact that I am someone's role model should make me feel good. But it doesn't. It makes me feel horrible. Does this make any sense at all? Or do I just sound ridiculous? I also recently found out that a 13 year old girl I've worked with and know quite well has recently begun self injuring. I want to talk to her about it and tell her it's a bad idea but I'll feel like a hypocrite because I still do it
I just feel like a failure