Bananasarecool, you possess astounding courage in the face of depression. It is sad that too few will be able to appreciate that about you. Know some of us greatly admire your endurance.

Meaning, Happiness, and Health: My opinion – all I can offer – is these gifts rarely if ever are acquired directly. Pursue them head on and they will elude you. Live day-to-day and you may discover passions which, if followed, could lead you to a morning's realization that some or all of these gifts have taken root in your life.

Remember the Bard's saying: "By indirections find directions out...."