((((Kaika))))

First I want to send you a hug and let you know you are supported and loved. I can say I really understand where you are coming from and what you are saying. I too have parts that I feel are destructive and I was unsure where or why they were created. One that I am thinking of is very young. It seemed she was created for destruction by them. It felt as though she could be brought on by a simple call or something.

But I have tried to accept her as part of me that is really scared and damaged. It is hard to reach to her for I am unsure of what she is and what she may do. But knowing this, I also see her fear and her pain. I have not been able to reach out to her as of yet, but I am trying. Knowing that she is so afraid and needs to know she is accepted is part of it.

It takes time and willingness on both parts to accept one another. To realize she had a job and sometimes I think they are unsure that their job is over. Mine live in such a concrete place and they do not understand that time has changed. They still live in the moment at which they were--and everything to them still feels as in the "yesterday" place.

It is hard to explain--but I feel bad calling them evil knowing they went through so much. But with that said--I do understand how you feel. Take your time with her. Let her know that you are there to listen and to hear her. It takes alot of time and patience. Sometimes that is not easy--but just remember she is a part of you that is with you and is you.

It is hard to fully understand that as it is sometimes more than we can comprehend. Whether she is intrusive as a thought or a part--there is a reason for her. I also have a part that wants to hurt and feels death is sometimes the only way out. She also hurts and is so afraid. I know I need to reach out to her and hold her and let her know that I love her but I am also afraid to do that. It scares me a lot.

But each day I try to accept her a little more. She has at least now began to reach out which is something she has not done before. As scared as we both are--she had a role within and she did her job. Sometimes, she still feels she has to step in and do her job. It is sad but I am thankful for her and the job she did.

I agree with what was said about first step is to listen. She may just want to be heard--to be accepted for her. Just be kind to yourself and patient. What you are dealing with is not easy but possible. Letting your t know what is going on so she can help you is important. Keep reaching out. Know we are here and are listening to you.

Take care of you. We care.

dps