((((white_iris))))

Hearing what you are saying and knowing the fear you speak of about family. Just take care of you. It is a good idea to have a plan B to be able to get away and get out if you need to. Seems we are attached to our family in ways we cannot help. When my sister calls it seems I can get sucked back really easily too.

Know that you do have a choice. If you set something up with her--you do have the chose to back down and decide you cannot do it. That is no bad reflection on you. You are the important one here and taking care of you is what is important. You have to stand up for you and take care of you.

If you do decide not to see her as the time gets closer--remember you are not doing anything wrong--and it does not make you bad. If you do decide to see her and after wards it is hard, you do deserve to be heard and comforted. It is hard to make those decisions. You hope and wish that someone in your family would understand and believe you. That they would validate you.

Just remember that taking care of yourself comes first. Be kind to yourself and listen to you. Only you can make the decision but know that we are here for you and will be here no matter what you decide. Remember to breath and to know that you have a choice. We are here and we do care.

dps