(((((PlanningtoSurvive))))

Thank you so much my friend for your words and your caring. I want so much to be able to feel what others are saying. To feel I warrent such words that come from all of you. I fear sometimes I don't. And in my words I try so hard to express what is going on yet, I guess the fear has always been there to not really say what I need to say because it always meant so much trouble and fear.

I know that someday, things will get lighter if I keep working on it and keep letting out the pain as I can. I write what I can because I am afraid of saying too much or of pushing others away or no one being there. Words are all they did not take from me. In fact, they taught me to write--not talk. Words have always been our friend--the only way to let someone know we are here.

Even those sometimes I find myself monitoring wondering if I say the wrong thing if I will be punished. So I say as much as I can and hope someone knows what I cannot seem to write. Because so many times it is what I cannot write between the lines that I need someone to hear.

Thank you for letting me know I am not alone. Sometimes it feels as though no one is there. But I know that when I come here there are so many that reach out. Words keep me going and so does your support, and others here who have been so kind to lend me there hope and strength.

You mean a lot to me too. And I thank you for being who you are and for reaching out your hand to me. I just hope I can be half to others here of what they have been for me and the love and support they give. It means more than anyone could know.

dps