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turquoisesea · Jul 08, 2009, 10:20 AM

Hey there littleyellowspider.
You ARE a good role model. The kid chose to write about the good side they see in you. Just because there is also a bad side does not mean that the good part of you is any less meaningful. The good part of you, the part you show to these kids IS a good role model. And that's part of you.

So you do these horrible things. You're ashamed. I've done some horrible things too. Sometimes I feel like the slimiest of slime, or dirt deserving only to get swept under a rug and forgotten. But there are good parts of me too. So I guess what i'm saying is that I can relate but I want you to know that there IS a good part of you, and that part is a GREAT role model.

As for the 13 year old. I would say to talk to her.
Just because you do it too does NOT mean you have any less advice to give. In fact, the fact that you DO it means you truly know what it's like. It means you can UNDERSTAND the child and the problem. A curse I know. But it means you can HELP. You obviously care about the child. Reaching out a helping hand is not being a hypocrite.

Nothing you have said sounds ridiculous. I just want you to know, there's a very good part of you. Sometimes the "bad" is easier to see - marks from the SI, anorexia leaves a mark (btw gratz on getting to the recovery stage), and well... hurting people you can see it in their faces. But even in your posts I can see that you're a very caring and kind person. I guess I'm seeing part of that good side that maybe the kid looking for a role model sees. Try to accept the good side that is within you. Let me know how it goes