Quote:
Originally Posted by DoggyBonz
I can't answer the why for you; for me it's going into the darkness and feeling like I don't have a choice. Needing to escape b/c it's all too much. It's not all of you that is feeling that way - it's a part that is in control right now. If you are in therapy maybe you could discuss it. I feel that way and am working on taking steps to comfort myself so I don't do it at such an extreme, so instead of 10 pills I take 5 and try not to have it be so black and white. ]
It takes time, but asking the question is an amazing 1st step. |
Thanks DoggyBonz....Maybe that is why I do it because it is a way to escape when it all becomes too much! I don't start therapy till next week and I don't know if I can make it that long. I was put on new meds and I know it takes time for new meds to work. Going on my second week of it and higher dosage, but the feelings are all still there. I want to cut and take pills more then ever right now. I have one person IRL that I could go to, that understands and has been through and going through the same thing. They don't have the urges to cut or anything like I do. I left a message crying that i needed someone to talk to, I left text message that I"m better off not here and out of a bottle of 500 how many would it take to OD....I guess I was wrong when I thought that they cared. Your better then I am. I tend to take more pills. If they don't do anything then I tell myself that I can take more. Just got back from the gym and instead of feeling better I feel worse. I took my meds just now and am thinking about more pills so I can sleep the day away....