You're right. Being with Cheyenne opened up the can of worms I've been keeping buried. At the same time, though, I had a very enjoyable 24 hrs or so. That was also "being good to me" not just Cheyenee. When I saw her yesterday, she said a few little things to let me know she wants more of the same. They were little games, but I saw through them so I reassured her that everything was going to be okay. I know her need for attention and where it comes from. Being able to give that to her makes me feel good and satisfies something in me. At her age, I know that even if something separates us, she'll remember me as "one of the good guys." Maybe she'll have something positive to draw from for her life. That is important to me... maybe because I feel that I have things to make up for in the way I raised my kids, especially my daughter. Maybe, just maybe it will get back to Karla the things that I do and she'll change her sick mind about me. I've found out a little bit more about her and she's been diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenic.

I don't know how else to take care of me except to give. That's who I am. You got any ideas?