{{{{{{{Miss A}}}}}}}}

Do you have anyone in real life you can talk to about your feelings? It helps to talk here, and you are welcome to keep on posting as much as you need to. I would urge you to find a counselor for yourself though. You have taken on a lot of responsibility with your friend, and that is draining, and there are reasons why you hurt yourself already, and you deserve to have help dealing with that - more than what we are able to give you here.