Quote:
Originally Posted by deliquesce
i havent replied to Austin-T because i dont even know what to say. i dont want to stop, but it keeps feeling like he's pushing me to. i offered to pay the cancelation fee next week but he doesnt even want to see me for that  .
im such a coward. im too scared to go to pdoc's tomorrow in case i see Austin-T while i'm waiting. to be 100% honest, i really want to self harm right now. |
deli, I don't see how this could possibly be
just about Austin-T. The stuff that's going on with you and Austin-T has
got to be bringing up some earlier incident (or string of incidents) for you, that you're now reacting to accordingly. You might even have helped "shape" the Austin-T thing a bit, for a closer resemblance to whatever triggering situation was up for you to work through.
It's something of a bummer that Austin-T is making his getaway without seeing you all the way through this but it doesn't sound to me like the end of the world -- or even of your therapy -- if you're willing to pick it up and run with it. Or walk with it. Or sit with it, for that matter.
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If it were me, I'd want to go on and work through it myself just to show ol' Austin-T.