i know i'm being hypersensitive so sent a txt back asking what he was referring to when he asked if i was stopping. i thought i had been clear that i wanted to see him next week still, so maybe he meant my exam or something.

he just sent a txt back saying he was referring to therapy, and that he would wait for pdoc's email to explain.

so now im too scared to send him another txt, because it sounds like he doesnt even want to hear from me anymore. i know a conversation thru sms is ridiculous and that's why i didnt even want to call to cancel - i wanted to talk about this face to face.

i really cant do this, i feel so stupid. trusting people and being vulnerable with them doesnt just cause me anxiety, it is like physical pain. and here i am, unsurprisingly - again. fz, you are right - it's not just about Austin-T. it's about the 3 other psychologists i've seen before him, all of whom have left me also. dont have any more in me to keep trying. pdoc really had to coax me into trying with Austin-T (we had a 3 month long surveillance going just to get me used to the idea ) and now Austin-T doesnt want deli either and it's too much.