Hello everyone my name is Tom and I am in a bad situation. Let me give you the details. My wife of 23 years has told me she no longer is "in love" with me and has fallen back in love with a man she had a relationship with before she met me 24 years ago. They reconnected through facebook and have had a torrid emotional affair, she has even sent him her underclothing. She really believes he is her one true love and does not want to reconcile with me.

We have had problems over our 23 years but I never realized she was at the point she was. I was unfaithful 19 years ago, a sexual trist, not a relationship and it came out about 15 years ago. She said she has forgiven me but in her heart I don't think she has. I have major anger issues I am getting help with. I grew up with a father whose pet names for me were shithead and stupid and he was extremely angry. He never physically abused me but the emotional and verbal abuse were relentless.

My wife is a stuffer, she keeps the peace at all cost and has not told me how she really feels about things partly because she is afraid of my anger. I have never physically abused her but my anger has been great.

I have also had issues with pornography on and off for several years but currently am not struggling in this area.

My wife is currently the Pastor's secretary at our church and I was the men's ministry leader and I have stepped down. We met with our senior pastor and he advised that I move out because the alternative was my wife was going to an attorney filing for divorce and leaving, quitting her job and abandoning me, and my two adult daughters (19 and 21) who are still at home and going to college.

I have promised to deal with my issues, and have. I am in anger managements classes, have seen a psychiatrist, am on anti-depressents and seeing a counselor. My wife has promised to start to try to get counseling but has not taken the step yet. A counselor from our church is ready and waiting to counselor when she is. Our Pastor has also told us the church would send us to Emerge ministries where they will help deal with all of our issues but my wife is not ready to take that step yet.

So here I am, seperated from my wife of 23 years who looked at me yesterday and I could tell she feels nothing for me right now. I have been forced out of my home and I feel she is going through the motions so she can file for a divorce and leave. She said she wants her heart and mind back and she can't have that with me. Is there hope? I need a miracle.