hi tom

sorry you are going through such a difficult situation.

my initial reaction whenever i hear of divorce in a long marriage, is to hope the couple goes for counseling. however, in my personal situation, the counseling was a joke. the problem being, the fact that i was the only one who wanted to save the marriage - my husband had already made up his mind.

counseling will only work if BOTH of you want to save the marriage. even then, it may not be successful, if there are just some issues from the past that cannot be reconciled. however, you have a chance at least, if both of you make the effort.

it is positive that you have involved your minister, and have his support and guidance. you are doing all the right things, it sounds like, with your anger mgmt classes, counseling, etc. that is good, for you, no matter what the outcome of your marriage.

because of your daughters, and your long history together, i really hope you are able to reconcile with your wife. i know this is so painful. it is devastating to hear from your spouse that they know longer love you. i have heard these words and it took months of shock and grief, before i could truly process the situation. so i do understand the kind of pain you are in, and i wish you the very best.