I believe we all do something cruel to our selves when we don't feel we're good enough.

It could be eating.

Just not like our appearance so contanstly being cruical = me

Always thing negative = me (eeyore)

BUT - when the time comes WHICH IT WILL - the thing is you'll always have the scars to show where you were.....
Though it will NOT be where you are NOW

Hurting your self ... may be because you feel you deserve it.

Or a type of release ....

I don't know, but as you get better I don't believe you're going to have to constantly see the reminders.

Though I tattoo as my self abuse to feel the pain - I have the tattoos to
always see.
But I look at them NOW as where I've been. ...
Hugs to you Hopefully I've said nothing now, as I am not where you are.