Tom;

I'm sorry for your suffering. I would tell you to try to wait it out although there are no guarantees of course. I have been married for 27 years and 2 years ago I told my husband I was thinking of leaving him. At the time I was having an affair which lasted 2 1/2 years but came to nothing in the end. I didn't tell my husband about the affair though he may suspect. I just told him after it ended (badly) that I was no longer leaving. Now I am in the process of recovering from the affair and moving on in my marriage. I had reached a point where I felt like this was my last chance to make any major changes in my life and I thought I wanted a different life including a new man. In hind site, I find that I CAN change my life without changing husbands (and anyway, another one just comes with different problems anyways so why bother starting over...) Maybe if you can give your wife room, this infatuation will play itself out as well.