Don't you just hate it when you have an unproductive or unfulfilling therapy session? Especially when it comes on the heels of a very insightful or connected one? That's what i experienced this week.

Something very important had happened to me over the weekend, and I'd emailed my t about it. I think i may have even said i wanted to talk about it on my session. At least i expected that we would. But instead, my t used a big part of the session trying to get me interested in going back to college to finish my degree.

My husband is partially disabled, and we're barely getting by living on my income. I guess t thinks that if i got my degree, i could be promoted and make more money. The problem is, I already work full-time, and i don't have the energy to go to college too -- especially when i also have such a problem with anxiety and stress. Also, my husband and I don't have the money to pay for college classes (yet we make "too much" to qualify for any financial aid). And I'm already 45 years old. By the time i got my degree (while working full-time), I'd probably be retirement age. It felt like a waste of time to have her going on and on about it, when i knew already that it probably won't work for me. I mentioned about my age, and the money issue, etc., but she just didn't seem to want to drop it.

I didn't get a chance to bring up my important personal issue until toward the end of the session, when we didn't have time to delve into it. I tried to briefly sum it up (it had to do with a problem i was having regarding a fromer friend). Instead of validating my feelings, she seemed to take the other person's side, saying "Well, what's wrong with having somebody who cares about you and . . . .?" I had to point out to her that what my former friend was doing was a trigger for some past trauma I'd gone through. By then, i was actually feeling retriggered again, but it was time to go. We took 5 minutes to try to contain it and get me relaxed, but it wasn't enough.

Then, as i was heading out the door, t says "Oh, wait. I just want you to know i'll be out of town for the next week, so you won't be able to get in touch with me."

Oh. Great.

I really like my t and know she can't always be in synch with me. But i sure hate sessions like that.