There are meds for this that do not make you a zombie, I had that with several meds. finally my pdoc came up with one for me to try and it's over 2 years and it works great.
Being Bipolar I, and not taking mood stabilizers is not a good decision, and can put you at risk. I've been DXed bipolar-II(mild) and ADD, 5 years ago after a major family upset, which most likely triggered this whole thing, besides being a genetic thing in my family.
I'd suggest before stopping any meds, discuss this with your pdoc., if he won't take the time, seek a new one.
This is just my opinion, there's stuff here of yours I can relate to, I thought once my triggers were gone I'd turn back to the person I was before DX and meds., so I tried weaning off my med with pdoc's supervision, 2 months after just decreasing my med by 50mg out of the 200mg I take, the downward spiral started.
This confirmed to me that I'll probably be a lifer with mood stabilizer, my brother is and deals with it fine, just takes an adjusment in one's mind that this is it, you need it, thats what I told myself.
I guess once a person has a meltdown, gets DXed and put on meds. the brain chemistry changes as it did that caused all this to come out.
Sorry, I think I am just rambling, and should go to sleep, but wanted to add my 2 cents here.
Take care now,
DE