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Jul 09, 2009, 07:29 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2008
Posts: 265
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallenangel337
I haven't SIed in about a week and a half....you know why? I haven't had the urge. 
I know, you guys are all thinking "Wow...that's great!" No, I don't think it is...I go through cycles with my SI. There's always a period without urges, and I may go as much as months at a time without doing it, and without having an urge. However, when the urges come back, and they inevitably do, they come back stronger. After a period without cutting, it is always significantly worse when I do it again. There's no telling how long this will last...I'm just scared for the time when it comes back.  |
Wow, I can relate to that, not months but weeks can go by. Here is what I am learning about that...I am learning how to start to recognize the signs and listen and learn from them. My T has me doing IFS and EMDR - finally something that makes some sense. A form of therapy.
When you say "There's no telling..." that is my like my life and a huge fear. But, can you talk to your T if you have one about it. It's a great realization on your part - a VERY BIG DEAL. The urges are going to be there but I am starting to talk to them and find out what they want. Sometimes it's not possible b/c I go into that "focus and state" of SI'ing. But today the urge was there and I just listened and realized how scared I was of not measuring up and feeling insecure. It seemed to work, at least for today.
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