Astrea
I feel your pain. I have been in horrible relationships in the past too. My ex husband got a girl pregnant while we were together and while he never cheated while we were married I couldn't stop thinking that he was going to everytime he left the house.
It affects me in every relationship. I am with a good guy now and the feeling still persists and I constantly have to tell myself it won't happen he's not my ex(s).....
I don't know what to tell you to make that feeling go away. Just keep telling yourself the one you have now is a good man and won't do you wrong.