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Old Jun 08, 2005, 09:36 AM
darkeyes darkeyes is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: May 2001
Location: US
Posts: 6,684
Hi there,
I too have had occasional dreams of my dad, passed on 11/26/02.
I haven't had anymore and I feel that "let down" feeling, it seemed the way we were able to communicate.
The last one I had was very real, and was about just something simple that part had been, or did take place.
I see a lot of symbolism in it too, I want to write it here.
I had dreamt that him and my mom were getting ready for their roadtrip back hom, dad had the hood up, checking the oil and looking over the engine, filling the window washer fluid, like he normally would do before setting out on the road.
I was in our driveway, kissing them goodbye before they started back home. Somehow in the dream I was aware he was gone, but yet he was there by the car.
I said, "dad can't you just stay? He said, "you know I have to go" I said "why? do they need you "up there"?
He didn't answer, (it was kind of strange) then I started to cry and said, "please stay, I don't want you to go" !!
We said our tearfull goodbyes and then the dream ended.
Not one day goes by that I miss him, feeling a part of my life has been taken from me, we loved each other so very much.
He was terrific, hot headed at times (I inherited that, ha!) we would be on the phone almost everyday, he was limited, due to emphysema (caused his death) so he more or less was chair ridden with constant oxygen supply from the machine.
I believe we keep loved ones alive by memories, even the bad ones, I was not an easy teen to live with.
I hope I will dream of him again, and not the last scenes of the hospital and all that grim stuff.
There is so much more to my story, wishing he was physically with me in the 3d world.
I think of funny things he would say or how he would approach some task, and laugh to myself, talking to myself as if he was with me, my 2 brothers have similar occurences.
All I can say, "daddy I miss you and will love you forever",
and I hear the same in his reply, in my mind giving some comfort.
Out of such loss, sorrow, I have also come to realize how precious life is, material things have become meaningless, and I am thankful, dad's last unspoken lesson was this.
Embrace life, everyone, look around at the beauty of nature, the animals, plantlife, and birdsong.
When I take the time to do so, and hope somewhere dad is alongside me, brings me comfort. We use to have so many nice conversations about the animals, places,music,pets, just about anything and I miss that now.
Mom's dementia and health problems don't allow me the same relationship, she has no interests (never did) and I get emotionally frustrated.
So, the best I can do is to dream and remember the better days, to carry on.
Sorry for my long ramblings and typos. but you know what I mean anyway. You are a dear person, and I am sending you positive energies for strength with this.
Sincerely,
Roe
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