We talk every week about my mixed feelings about therapy. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a week I have to go in. I expressed some thoughts I've had and now I feel even more like a bad mother. Also I shared some thoughts I had about him, you know like he is taking that role of a father. I never got that, mine always abused me.

I just can't seem to get my life together. I feel so dead inside and I don't think it's worth a life anymore. I even started cutting recently. My husband will leave me if he finds out how bad I am then I will lose my son. He is the only reason I wake up everyday. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here.