Thanks June and Pom.

My husband says he loves me, I don't trust him though. If you couldn't tell I have major trust issues. I don't believe anything he tells me. I used to enjoy baking and reading were my big two things. Now all I do is work of which I am having trouble there too, and go home and be with my son. He is everything to me. He is my life. I live for him.

As far as a pdoc. I did have one. He did get my meds worked out. Well better than what I was donig. I am not as suicial as I was, but this week as been way to much for me so I am all out of wack. I got rid of my pdoc though. I couldn't go in and tell him how I was truely feeling. I am so afraid he would put me in the hospital. In fact I know he would. What's the point of going to someone if I don't trust them. I know I have to find another one but I am just to scard and not able to trust anyone.

I only trust my T, well most of the time. Somedays it's hard for me to tell him how I feel, but I always end up telling him at some point. He always understands once I talk about my feelings, it's just getting to that point. It's so scary for me. I am afraid he is going to yell at me or diminish my feelings. He has never done anything like that and never will. At least I don't think he will. My T is the only one I truely feel safe with.