Good Moring,
Just want to share a bit of my experience which I think is simiular to what your feeling.

I used to think medication mean't I was a crazy person.
I was totally embarrsed, and people that knew treated me that way

But today I know the without the medication (I've been on for years) that I will forever be on - Is what is keeping my Brain in order.

I thought one time I was doing great so I took myself off.

Oh was that the wrong thing to do.... My life went into a haywire.

I have to change the med.s now and then, as the chemistry changes - But for me life without the necessary medication that my brain is not producing - I wouldn't be here.