Hey Sinabee, why don't you start a new thread and explain your situation if you've not already done so.

BLNs (sorry if I mess up the lettering order, not dyslexic, but similar reading brain translation issues), it sounds like you're barely surviving right now. You're probably not on the site because you're too overwhelmed and depressed. That's okay. All you need to be doing right now is staying in communication with your docs and telling them exactly how badly you're feeling and asking them what can be done to improve that. Your quality of life is a very important issue and if you're crippled to the point of not being able to do anything but shower, because you have to go to a meeting, they need to know that.

We're here for you when you can write again.