What was the hospital like? Did you feel safer/better there than at home? Curious. I'm heading that way if things don't improve soon. I don't know how much more I can take either.

They shouldn't rush you. Everyone has stress, but not everyone has a mood disorder that makes you prisoner to your brain's plummeting chemistry. If they felt the way we did, most of them would've ended their lives long ago. I swear, if I didn't endure as much crap as I have in my life, I don't know how I could survive these feelings. I think the reason why men "succeed" 3-4 times more often than women is because they haven't endured x many years since early adolescence of 13-17 periods per year of having their emotions and bodies regularly attacking them even if they don't have a mood disorder. Life is a living hell for some of us and that's not self-pity. That is the ****ing truth. There is a reason why, as David Foster Wallace wrote, most aim for the head. It is the source of our agony. It is not something that positive thinking or exercise or being grateful for what we do have will take away. That only works if your chemistry is already balanced or getting there.

Don't get down on yourself for being down. If you need to, walk yourself to the hospital and re-check yourself in. I just may do it myself because I'm not getting the help I need right now.

There's always another option. Don't believe the either/or voice.