My parents have been taking the kids since I was in the hospital. Every day they ask me when I will be done with the partial program because they want to get back to their lives, implying that I will be all better once I am done. I have an issue with this because I don't know when I will be better and I feel like I won't be able to ask for their help once I am done with the partial program because I used up the quota of babysitting hours. I offered to hire a daycare so that they could have a break and then my mom played the martyr card.

I am getting frustrated because my husband is doing the same thing. If I ask for one small thing like, "please stay home tonight because I had a really rough day and I don't think I can handle dinner and bed with the kids", he says "no."

Why is it that people are willing to support me until they no longer think I need it because I cracked a smile that day? Does that mean I am all better?

Would you ask a cancer patient how long it will take for their chemo to work? Would you take away a cancer patient's support system when you decide she is better, or because she didn't spend that day puking?

I am feeling like such a burden on my family and it is interfering with my recovery. When I talk about it with anyone (which I learned to do in partial) I end up in an argument about how I ask too much of people. Seriously, Is asking my husband to stay home one night out of the millions of nights he could go out and asking my parents to please drop the kids off at my house so I could go straight home from a difficult 7 hour day of therapy too much? Apparently.

This is becoming a real trigger for me. I was thinking briefly about hurting myself last night, but I made a promise at partial that I would stay safe.

Sorry for rambling. I guess I am just needy