It's so weird for me...i found myself in a situation today where normally, I'd go running for my razors. But today when i was in that situation I thought, "You know what? I don't even WANT to cut right now." It felt good, knowing I would have usually cut, but it just sort of warns me that it's going to be worse when I do again.

I feel so stressed out, because I want to talk to T about this before it has time to come back, but we have SO much else to talk about...things that I feel are, at the moment, more important than this. I never feel like I have enough time to really get through everything.

Yep, can totally relate. Right now I'm experiencing in therapy a lot of I don't have enough time to tell you everything and listen to what you have to say. It never feels like there is enough time. But, this is important stuff, I don't know what else is on your agenda but recognizing the triggers and finding tools to deal with them can open up new avenues in therapy. Hey, I am the 1st to admit that I don't know if I will SI again, but if I can try to understand the triggers then I don't have to keep going back there. That is what seems hard, repeating the behaviors; it just feels like I want to be past that but I know I'm not.
So right now, I'm not sure if we'll get a chance to discuss this or not. I'm hopefully going to get a phone call from her tomorrow, so maybe I can bring it up then...maybe start to figure it out before my session next week. I don't know...