I promise you that you will not die.... but you might feel like for a short while.

Question:
How will you feel if you go ahead and marry him and he rapes your sister or molest the daughter you may have together?

I ask this not to hurt you any more than you are already suffering, but to bring the reality of what can (will) happen if this man does not get help and remain clean for five years or more, and even that is not a guarantee that he will not act upon the sexual fantasies he is having.