Well, I was doing fine until Thursday night when I had a relapse...

She came over to watch Friends with me, and gave me the impression that I was "still in the running" and she missed me terribly, and if things kept going the way they were, there's a lot of hope...

Of course, then she went and saw "him" again on Saturday and decided that a sea change took place in her after that and we're completely over now.

Completely.

Okay, I know, I know, I should've just ignored her when she said those things on Thursday night. We were being so playful with each other, and it just felt so natural and right. I did give myself a little hope, I did allow myself that, and boom, we're over again.

Freakin' emotional rollercoaster I allowed myself on.

I should've have done that. I admit, I still have those feelings for her, so how could I have said no? And yet, for my own sanity and well-being, I know I have to start doing that with her. Not that it's an issue any longer...

So that's how it's going. I went to NJ on Friday-Saturday to visit some very dear old close friends, and that went well, but I also didn't hear back from her on Saturday so I suspected something was up. When she called me this morning, I sorta knew something was up, but she denied it. Until I finally said, "Look, something's up!" when I called her back an hour ago. Finally she admitted it.

Damn, I'm so stupid...

John