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Jul 11, 2009, 12:20 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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Hey Monty Girl!!! 
I think that what you are describing is somewhat normal. Often times, people from abusive relationships feel as if they are either being pulled back or that they are longing/gravitating back towards the abuse.
For us that have been through abuse, we have developed a part inside of us that longs for that attention from the abuser. Not because we want the abuse, but because we've been programmed that we are not good enough without these people, and we are not good enough in general, we probably deserve it. It is programming that has taken place with the help of our abusers and they bank on it. They know that that's how they can manipulate us to play their games, and they know we are vulnerable and just want to be loved. They also know that there are times when we feel we have been bad and need to be punished....and are usually more than happy to oblige.
My suggestion is DON'T GO BACK!!! You really are worth so much more than that and you don't deserve to be hurt, and you don't need to be punished. You need to find patience for your self and take good, positive care of you. Only surround yourself with the people that help raise you to the light. Not the ones that help drag you back into the dark......
Take care. 
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