Why I do nothing when my being screams for escape. What inner conscience holds me back? Maybe it's the waiting wondering, to see what happens in my doctor's appointment tomorrow. But I know there's no hope. Why continue in cycles? If they somehow talk me back to hope this time, how long? Maybe a different medicine will give me a high, but it won't be long before I see the truth again. There is no solution. No matter how many times I try, no matter how good I feel when I try, I will always be alone. I don't know what to do.