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Originally Posted by Christina86
It sounds like a self-injury addiction. Nothing about what you said sounds weird or bad or out of place, it IS about coping and it IS about the pain. We all do it for different reasons.
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I've thought of it as an addiction before. But if it is, will I ever be rid of it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Christina86
 Okay, congrats on not SIng for 4 months. That's GREAT! |
Thanks. I can hardly believe it myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Christina86
What about seeing a counsellor? Or talking to your doctor? Having outside help is really necessary to stop, having someone physically THERE to help you through. You don't need to tell the BF, but perhaps you *could* tell him that you're not having a good time right now - and explain it like being addicted to drinking, like an alcoholic. It's sorta the same, and it's usually easier to understand for those who don't understand SI.
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I've been seeing a counsellor for a short while now, she knows I used to SI but doesn't know that I still feel the urge to. For a while, I didn't. And now I do again.
The thing is, my BF's ex used to SI to manipulate people. I know he'd be disappointed if he knew I was triggering again, and I really don't want to disappoint such a wonderful, supportive person. In equal measure, I don't want him to think I'm trying to manipulate him through my SIng. I'm not, but I don't want him to think that. I don't want him to connect me to that girl he hates so much.
[quote=phoenix7;1070122]are you seeing a T - its hard to stop without help - 4 months is great well done!!!/quote]
Thanks, and as I said, I am seeing a T.
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix7
there must be a reason you feel you need to have pain - and that is what needs to be dealt with - a T can help with that and the urges can get less and be manageable ..
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I feel I need to have pain because it's the only releif I get. I get stressed and angry very easily, but I turn the stress into anger and all the anger inwards. I hate myself. That's slowly getting better but I still do. And I'm going through an identity crisis, which isn't helping.
I also feel that I deserve pain, that I'm a horrible person and deserve punishment.