Hello

I have been friends with this woman for close to ten years. She is a very nice, caring, and thoughtful person. So what is the difficulty?

These are just a few of her behaviours or personality traits that bother me greatly:

> Needs to be right most of the time.
> Everything must be very clean and tidy
> Competitive in arguements or discussions (always has something better to say than I do or is right).
> Will give me options for restaurants or movies that we might go or see (but if she doesn't want to go or see it we just don't go).
> Likes to talk about 3 main topics all the time when we are together or talking on the phone.
> 98% of the e-mails I send to her go unanswered.
> Doesn't give up on anything or anyone (she nagged and nagged for a donation from me until I gave in and agreed to it).
> Needs to be in control of the situation or people most of the time.
> If I anger her she will have an explosive temper tantrum that borders on being verbally abusive or she will just refuse to talk about it.
> She has a hard time making up her mind (one time we were at a restaurant and it took her a good solid 20 minutes to decide on what to order).
> Lately when I bring up issues that have to do with my health and well being she either tunes me out or pretends that it is not a big deal. Whereas with her I am expected to listen and give feedback. But never am I allowed to give my honest opinion on what she should or shouldn't do. I have to make a subtle suggestions or sugar coat my answer.

> She will tell her parents things that I have told her in confidence. I know this for a fact because I have spoken with her Mom and her Mom knows things that I have only told my friend.

> She has a ritualized way of doing things.

> Has high expectations for her friends. She gave me 3 hours notice that she was close to my home (she was driving from a different area of where I live) and told me she needed a place to stay because her dog was in heat. I overheard her talking on her cell phone telling the other person that there is no privacy in my home. She helped me clean my home and as a way of saying thank-you and showing my appreciation for what she had done for me...I went out and bought her a book that she had been asking for. She wasn't pleased that I had bought her a gift and made me feel like trash for doing so.

Enough of my rant...

It has come to the point where I avoid her phone calls and don't listen to most of her voice mails that she leaves for me. I don't enjoy or look forward to the time we spend together. It feels more like a duty or obligation. After spending a day or sometime together with her it takes about 3 days for the negative energy to pass out of my system. I am naturally shy but when I am around her I am submissive and behave oddly. I can never be totally honest with her because she would just dismiss what I have to say or be verbally abusive towards me.

Ok...

I am right in thinking that this relationship has no future?

Comments, advice, and suggestions are all welcomed!!

Thank-you,

Zen888