I just re-read what I wrote: "I want to heal but skip over the painful stuff" Ha! Talk about a wish from a younger part of me....

thanks, kiya. I KNOW you are right. the thing is, i "know" what little Tree went through, and I don't get why just the knowing isn't enough. i don't understand how to move through this and heal. i know t loves little tree a lot (probably more than grown up me. and hey, he loves teen too. hmmm jealous) and i know little tree loves him and wants to be with him.

whatever. i guess in a way i wish they would get ON with it so i could feel better. but wow, grown up me is fighting that, and hard. this stuff is just too creepy and yucky and scary to look at. she won't do it.