Me too. I've always felt like I was about 80, even when I was 7 years old. Depression had already tied me up and tried to bury me. I first noticed the pure white hairs on my head when I was 18. Now, about 1/4 of them are that. My face hasn't aged as fast, but my body seems to be failing me. It wants to give up and I can't offer it any hope for the future. Fulfilling my dreams may still be possible, but only if I actually act: do something insane during mania to get me there. In depression, I'm crippled. Brain is in a fog, body achy, moving slowly, heart is lead. I'm totally useless. And the only one who seems to care (besides all the kind souls on this site) is my partner who has to deal with me day in and day out. I wish I could be a better person, a stronger person, a chemically balanced person, but I keep failing, over and over again. And that makes me feel worse.