aries, I'm feeling this way too. It's really hard to visualize, but when I'm super down, I imagine myself as an old person with tons of life experience who is mentoring someone younger than myself, then I know that going on wasn't all in vain. That I do have something to offer. That the older I get, the more useless I won't become, but rather the more useful. If I can make it through these impossible and seemingly meaningless bouts of misery, then I can do something great. I want to work with orphaned animals I think. Maybe in Africa. Want to leave this planet a better place than when I came in. And dying won't do that. Some day we'll be in another frame of mind. And we'll be glad we took whatever steps necessary to get better. Even if that means medication, therapy, going to the hospital temporarily, etc. It's a fragile state we are in, but our lives have meaning: whatever meaning we choose to give them.