Hi, Blue,

I'm terribly sorry I missed this post before.

As for what to do on this summer holiday, here is hoping you will be able to be outside for awhile to feel the light of day upon you.

As far a your mixed emotions go, there is no rush to do much of anything about them, other than to let them unfold.

About two years ago I was compelled to attend a Grief Share Group. The most recent loss I had experienced, prior to attending that group, was my brother-in-law, who let's just say I had very little regard for. He came between my husband and I and did some very mean things to us both.

I had many loving and prior losses in my life but dang, if this one didn't trigger me to seek help. As it turned out, the complexity of this loss was more difficult to deal with than the loving losses. That was a bit of a surprise to me. I first had to deal with my anger (kind of) before I could address the grief. There was grief, but not in the loving way. It was more in a way where I just said goodbye but I don't miss the meanness. I felt more sorry for him than sad. I did have to process the loss though and I may even have cried but for the loss of what he could have been and how he died. I did not wish that upon anyone. My H, his brother was not sad, so he claims but he too, had to make some kind of peace.

Well, all of this to say, we come along side you in your moments of mixed emotions and pray for clarity, in due time.

Hunny