mozel tov on your decision! I too think spiritual matters separate people when unity is more positive. You mentioned your ansestor immigrated circa 1900...antisemitism was around even then. What makes it even more difficult is that most jewish immigrants americanized their names to blend in with american culture. Perhaps your rabbi has some resources that will help. Lots of jewish people are still looking for their roots...between 1933 and 1945 2 out of 3 jews were systematically murdered. That's 6 million dead in europe, including over a million children simply because they were concidered "life unworthy of life". All the best to you.