Cutbuddie,

I had a horrible family situation growing up and no one paid attention to me, I sort of hid out in my room a lot in teen years.

I know how a situation can just get so bad you can't see any good. There's no one you feel you can trust. I do not know how to tell you any way to get help for adoption or foster care and those are not ideal either.

There are some things you can do like continue to call into hotlines for teens or for psych support. You can start a diary to give you a place to dump some of the intense feelings/frustrations - just be sure to keep it safely hidden to avoid problems of people seeing it. Right now it would be good if you can find a stress reliever besides the cutting. Later on when you get to a better place with life you may find the scars a problem you don't need. I used to get a baseball bat and beat up pillow or large plastic trash cans - it made a helluva noise and made me feel better when I was so angry.

The one thing that saved me was that I discovered God really does care and loves me; He loves you too. It's hard to describe and not accidentally go over the limits on God-talk from this forums regulations. I found I could talk to God about everything and that He did care. It was not so much a "religious" thing as it was a relationship with Him. It honestly helped me so much. If you ever want to talk about it I am open to pm with you and I have no agenda to try to get you to "be" some kind of religion. I'll discuss anything on your mind.

Also I agree that sometimes it takes trial and error to find a antidepressant med that worked for me. When it did work it was a good help to me also.

ONE IMPORTANT THING: It will NOT always be like this. Time does move on and you will not always be in this situation. Things CAN get better and you will NOT be unhappy forever - even though it may seem like that is how it will be.

There is only ONE of you, you are a unique person and there is nobody better than you. You have value and with time you will find you can make a life for yourself and achieve good things - including actually liking your life.

I know I'm a stranger to you, but I really care and want you to find a way to hold on until help and change can come. Hugs if you want them,

Leslie/multipixie9