I went thru a really hard time with pstd (self diagnosed). I had every symptom but one and I can relate to the shutting off, generally not caring, the numbness and generally trying to forget.
I started coming here after awhile because I hated what I had become and I needed some help. It's gotten alot easier and I have gotten better. I still have flashbacks and I still struggle but not so often and not so bad. I actually had the worst one I have had in a long time on Saturday morning. All it took was for my husband to make a "stupid joke" and I was beside myself. I worked thru it. Remembering it's not happeneing anymore and that it wasn't my fault helped. It wasn't nice though.

Don't feel bad about rambling, we all do it and you weren't rambling anyway, just talking to us. Glad your here, was nice to meet you in chat yesterday :O)
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin