im so angry inside right now. alone like usual, bad thoughts, bad memories, unwanted feelings, no future, i feel like i wanted to drink till throw up, take drugs, but i dont have money, nothing i can do at the moment but to write here. why am i always feel dont deserve anything, dont belong anywhere, this is a disease i supposed. i hate to think about what people think about me, i can see through their eyes, yeah that im a weirdo, loser, well f you a'h! its like everything that i do is nonsense but everything that they do is something, wtf! im sure you all know how hurt it is to be alone, you dont want to be alone but its very hard to change that.