I agree. Give him some time to think/feel things through for himself.

Meanwhile, continue with your efforts of improvements, but without overcompensations.
Perhaps, try to view it as "treat yourself the way you want him to treat you"...?

I know the feeling of being the burntout caretaker, and unfortunately, it has gone much too far to be reconciled, and I have resulted in not only giving up, but have seemed to allowed his misery drag me into my own as well.
If he had only taken interest in helping me help him, then I'm confident that all would not be lost now.

I can understand how he may be experiencing an overwhelming sense of dispair, if positive change has not resulted.

I believe that you don't need to go to the extent of the balloons and whatnot often, (though that was a genuine sweeeeeeet gesture). I think it would prove more rewarding for him if he witnessed you treating yourself the way he does..with the love, support and respect).
I know..for me, if I were to have witnessed my hubs finally begin to treat himself the way I've been, then that alone would be enough to provide all the rewards.

Hope this helps some.

Good luck. Keep the faith.

Shangrala