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Originally Posted by Angua
I've thought of it as an addiction before. But if it is, will I ever be rid of it?
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Define "be rid of it" for you. You can get rid of most of the thoughts, you can change your behaviours so you don't automatically jump to self-injury to cope with things that happen - but sometimes the thoughts will reappear, and usually it takes a while to manage your "triggers" that would lead to self-injury.
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I've been seeing a counsellor for a short while now, she knows I used to SI but doesn't know that I still feel the urge to. For a while, I didn't. And now I do again.
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Tell your counsellor. Dealing with it NOW is easier than dealing with it later. Trust me on this one, I'd give anything to be able to go back and have gotten help sooner.
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The thing is, my BF's ex used to SI to manipulate people. I know he'd be disappointed if he knew I was triggering again, and I really don't want to disappoint such a wonderful, supportive person. In equal measure, I don't want him to think I'm trying to manipulate him through my SIng. I'm not, but I don't want him to think that. I don't want him to connect me to that girl he hates so much.
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Some people DO use SI to manipulate people, but you don't sound like that kind of person. (Most) people who SI don't tell anyone, because they want to avoid that sort of stigma - that they're doing it for attention. Yes, sometimes it IS a cry for help, but sometimes it's just done to cope. If he's a supportive and wonderful person - I'm hoping he'd trust you enough to believe that you're not doing it for attention. You're also just experiencing the thoughts - but you're not doing the actions, which is totally against the idea of using self-injury for manipulative reasons!!
