Hey Lise, welcome.

That's terrible what you've been through and are going through. I've had abuse and self harm issues as well. Everyone's situation is unique, and the pain and distress you feel is very personal. When you're still a minor, or even a young adult, it can feel impossible to talk to parents or authorities about your problems. In fact, communication is one of the hardest things for abused people. I stutter and stammer sometimes when I get emotional. It's like the verbal parts of my brain are being short circuited by the intense feelings.

I was looking up some resources to help you and this is a reputable site that has links to state and local programs for adolescents and adults:

http://www.nami.org/template.cfm?section=Find_Support

This is a glossary compiled for parents and teens to learn more about the various problems you may be facing:

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/resourc...ting_teenagers

Also check out the resource center after you have a better idea of what you might be dealing with (although none of these websites are a substitution for the help of a professional): http://www.aacap.org/cs/eaacap.resource.centers

This is an article about a program called teenscreen, that tries to remove the stigma from a mental checkup and is offered across the country:

http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/355/26/2717

Here's the teenscreen site itself and you can see if there's a place that offers the evaluation close to where you live:
http://www.teenscreen.org/programs-and-initiatives

This is if you want to start searching teenscreen centers by state: http://www.teenscreen.org/state-resource-center

This is a comprehensive resource for young people with bipolar (if you wish to compare your feelings and symptoms with the typical signs)
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publi...ad/index.shtml

I hope I haven't overwhelmed you. You can ignore any of this or just pick one that looks like it might be of help. And definitely take your time. Getting help is a long term process, but it sounds like you're on the right path. You've recognized you want help and there are many many places to find it. Most states have programs for the uninsured or low-income adults and minors to get free medications and have low cost therapy. For example, this is a site totally devoted to helping teens find doctors, low cost or free meds, etc.:

http://www.bpkids.org/site/PageServer?pagename=other

We're here for you too. I'm glad you came on the site. Everyone I've met here has been super helpful and kind. I only got diagnosed with bipolar a month ago, so I was totally lost and am still getting the hang of treating it.

Stay in touch.