BNLsMom, I've been having the same problem and just got diagnosed a month ago, and have been in the depressive phase for nearly 2 years with the rare kind of relief you're talking about. No one else does get it who hasn't felt it. They are so lucky they'll never have such a terrible episode (except for maybe temporarily and naturally after a loved one dies). The issue is complicated. You can only try to explain what it feels like to family, friends, and doctors, but they can't feel the anguish and sometimes they fail to understand or take it seriously. You are not a bad person or a weak person or a lazy person for having depression or bipolar. Remember that no one would say to a heart patient that they should will away their disease. That would be immoral and deadly to not have them see a doctor or have the proper medications. Or to a diabetic: think of all the things you have to be grateful for.

Mental illness still has a heavy stigma in this country and others. You're either lumped into the crazy bin or the "just trying to get out of working" bin. In fact, most people with chemical imbalances like us are very hard working, love our friends and families dearly, are conscientious, intelligent, and had a helluva lot of bad things happen to us. We feel guilty when we are incapacitated and wish we could "snap out of it." We would if we could, but again, would you blame someone who was born blind for not being able to see and tell him he was just being lazy and deny him a seeing eye dog as punishment? That's what misguided people are doing when they say you "should" just move on with your life and stop "feeling sorry for yourself." We are crippled and cannot get by without meds and therapy and training ourselves skills to deal with this disorder. It's very hurtful what people who have never had this condition say in their ignorance.

Do everything you need to to get well. Try to shut out their negativity. And tell your doctors when a med is not working or making you feel worse. Stay in therapy as long as you need to. For some of us, it's like meds, we'll need them for the rest of our lives.

We care about you. It's awful to feel so bad. I hope you'll stay in touch.