I'm so sorry, you're living a parent's worst nightmare. I suspect your daughter figured out much too young that there really is very little that you can do as a parent to stop her. My initial reaction is being horrified by what you must be going through, but if your daughter is manipulative who knows what's true and what's for attention. It sounds very much like she's playing both sides against the middle. Perhaps the bf's parents will tire of her behavior and give her the boot.

Some friends of mine went through a similiar thing with their oldest daughter. She was a bit younger, 16, and since the police were unable to help her (which is another discussion entirely) she actually went through the process of making her daughter a ward of the state. The girl's boyfriend was in his 40's housing her. We live right on the state line and he lived in a neighboring state with the age of concent being 16. Once the girl became a ward of the state it was a different situation altogether. This was a very expensive, exhausting, time consuming process and it expired on her 18th birthday, but my friends were at their wits end. In this situation not only are you dealing with a time constraint, what are the odds that your ex will co-operate?

I don't think any of your demands were unreasonable. I'm sorry that I don't have any savvy wisdom to share here, I hope your daughter comes to her senses sooner rather than later.